If you're like me, you like having a plan. A plan for the next hour. A plan for the next day. The next week, month, and so on. You enjoying having a sense that you know what the future holds, even though you realize you're not really in control of it. Sure, you're willing to see plans change, and you don't mind rolling with flow of life (at least most of the time). If you're like me, that is.
I have always viewed my planning as a positive quality. It has helped me achieve goals, be fairly organized in this fast-paced life, and I like to believe it has helped my husband and son as well on several occasions. Until recently, I gave little thought to whether my planning had any downside. How could it, right? I'm making the world move more efficiently with all this planning!
I don't quite recall how it came to my attention a few days ago, but I can tell you that God has really been revealing a lot of areas to work on recently, and this was yet another. However it happened, I began thinking about life. The plans I've made for it. The way it's gone so far. Recent holidays spent with family and friends. The new year coming swiftly. I'm not big on resolutions each year. The vast majority of those never work out, and besides, I have a plan all year anyway.
As I thought about these things, something (well, I give credit to the Lord...so Someone..) made me stop. It was a revelation of sorts. I thought, "What if all this planning is actually taking away from what's happening right NOW?"
Whoa. Wait, what?? How could that be? There were so many positive things about my planning. How could there be any room for it to cause anything negative? I began praying about this, that He would help me to see any way this could be causing harm. He began to show me that I spend so much time worrying about what's going to happen in the future, that I often end up missing the here and now.
It was a tough pill to swallow at first, but then after more prayer, I felt all the weight of "the future" lift off of me. It was like I could breathe, really breathe..for the first time in a long time. I started to seek God more fervently and ask Him what He would have me do.
Here are a few of the things He's having me do:
1. Focus on what's happening in the lives of my husband/son. It's amazing how much less I worry about what's going to happen in the future when I'm focused on the activities and needs of someone other than myself. Duh, right?
2. Limit the phone/electronics in my free time. While these are great tools for communication and entertainment, they often take away the valuable time I'm able to spend with my family, friends, and most importantly, God.
3. Spend less time at work. This has been VERY hard for me in the past, but once the weight was lifted, I've found that it hasn't been difficult to balance the time necessary in being dedicated to my job, and also going home in a timely manner to enjoy the evenings with my boys.
4. Pray more. Yep, prayer is a big one. Without having that direct line to God, I'd be sure to fall back into my old ways of thinking.
5. Be intentional. About everything, really. Relationships. Work. Fun. Etc. Make sure there's a purpose for my actions and that they fall in line with God's Word.
6. Recharge and Give. I need to recharge the battery. I've drained it by always worrying about things that I can't control and frankly, many of which that don't truly matter. Once recharged, give to others. As stated before, it's amazing how less I think about myself when I'm focused on others. It actually gives us life when we do this! That's the beauty of it!
7. Balance. The key to so many things is balance. Planning isn't wrong in itself. It's good to have goals and want to do the best we can in life. However, we can't get so caught up in life that lose sight of what really matters.
8. Don't worry about tomorrow. Matthew 6:34 tells us "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." I don't need to borrow more trouble or worry. Life is hard enough without asking for more.
These are a few of the things He is showing me, and it's been good to work on this part of me. I'm feeling a freedom in an area I didn't even realize had a hold of me. It's so easy to get caught up in the world's expectations for our lives that we believe we must conquer what they tell us in order for our lives to have mattered. It couldn't be further from the truth. Pouring our lives into others, sacrificing of our time, our finances, and everything else we've been blessed with, just so others can see Christ's love...THAT is what matters. Giving someone an ear when they're having a hard time, supporting those who experience loss or hurt, and rejoicing with those who experience victory...these are the things I should spend my time doing. These bear the image of my Savior, and these shine His radiant light to a dying world. This life is truly but a vapor (James 4:14), and I can't afford to waste it worrying about things I can't control in the first place. Our focus must be on HIS call for our lives, for it alone fulfills our longing hearts.
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14