“There were two farmers who desperately needed rain, and both of them prayed for rain. But only one of them went out and prepared his fields to receive it.  Which one do you think trusted God to send the rain?”  (From the movie "Facing the Giants")

This season of our life has been hard.  We've struggled with time management, joy in our occupations, and parenting.  It's often left us exhausted and feeling distant from God.  We've lived life playing defense, and just trying to survive each day.

For the past few months, however, we've really made it a priority to seek Him in the midst of the trials and fatigue.  We began reading scripture more frequently than we had in a very long time, praying often, encouraging one another when the other felt weak or had an extra difficult day.  We confided in life friends who prayed for us and lifted us up in Truth.  It didn't take long to feel God's presence in a very real way, and it only fueled us to keep going. 

Lately, we've felt a shift in our lives.  We are no longer focused on our professional occupations or the stress of all of our commitments.  We've become more balanced and have been able to see more clearly how to best parent our pre-teen son. 

In all of this, our hearts have been stirred in a deeper way.  We know we are soon to step into a new season, new ministry, and new depths of our relationships. 

"Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19

Over and over again, the Lord is showing us He is working. He is near.  He has a purpose for us, even with as flawed as we are.  There are too many ways to even share right now, but it has given us new life!  We are feeling excited, although we have NO IDEA what God is up to.  We know He is requiring us to draw a line in the sand. To not look back.  To trust Him....and to prepare for the rain.  All we know is that He loves us, and that whatever and wherever He takes us, it will be used to bring Him glory and share the good news of Jesus Christ!

It's requiring complete faith, and faith requires active preparation.  Too much is on the line for us to sit back and hope that the Lord performs a miracle.  My husband sent this scripture today, and it was so incredibly timely:

"Shall I bring to the time of birth, and not cause delivery?” says the Lord.
“Shall I who cause delivery shut up the womb?” says your God." Isaiah 66:9

He who promises is faithful.  And He who brings us to the time of birth, will deliver as only He can.  And it will ALL be for His glory! 

I would encourage you that if you find yourself in a dry season, start preparing your fields for rain and trust Him to bring it at the perfect time.

 “Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with ashes.” - Elisabeth Elliot

​It's been a long while since I've posted.  I struggle to even know where to start.  Sometimes, words seem like an autumn breeze, swirling around us and taking us where it will, and then gone as quickly as it came.

That was almost poetic.  The truth is, though, I've started to write multiple times in the past few months but never really had the words to say.  I desperately wanted to convey all that was going on in our lives and in our hearts, but when I searched for words, there were none to be found. Writing has often been a solace to me through the years, whether through diaries, journaling, or now blogging.  It gives me an opportunity to communicate what I'm feeling or learning in life and has really been such a beautiful time of reflection of how God is revealing Himself within the small moments of my days. 

So what's different today?  I can't really say.  But tonight, I knew the time had come to write again.  I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.  When God just tells you, "It's time."  

The past several months have been what I would consider "roller coaster" months.  One day we feel like we're on top of the world, the next day (or week) we feel like we're hitting rock bottom.  I say "we" because my husband and I have both been going through it.  Differently in some ways, other ways completely the same.  It's been a blessing to know that your spouse truly does know what you're going through.  I wish he wasn't having to go through it, of course, but it's been a blessing in disguise.

We've also been so blessed to walk this out with close friends of ours that have been so gracious through all of our ups and downs and shown us patience and kindness in spite of our, often rotten, attitudes. But despite all their compassion, words of encouragement, tears, prayers, etc... we've still managed to feel absolutely awful so much of the time.  We've been tired. So tired.  Emotionally and mentally drained.  Spiritually struggling, feeling alone in our battles much of the time.  I imagine this is what wandering through the wilderness felt like.  Well, maybe to just a small degree.

We all go through these seasons, where you're completely spent.  And nothing seems to be going right.  One hit after another after another comes your way, and you're just wondering when you're going to get a time out.  You're praying for a time out.  We've felt so selfish and guilty for struggling with life the way we have.  We know there are people who are dealing with far worse conditions than we have.  We know that some people would happily give up their struggles to come deal with our petty issues anytime.  But these petty issues have been real to us.  And God is using them.  He's been using this time of rest, and unrest, to do a work in us.  Isn't that just like Him?  Making beauty from ashes.  He's pretty amazing like that.  And it's so easy to forget His presence and power in the valley, but He has a way of reminding us. 

We haven't made it completely out of the this valley yet, but I know we're on our way.  And I know He will provide a way for us to use our time in the valley to help someone else go through theirs.  I say all this to say....

I still believe.

I still believe there is hope. 
I still believe He is changing hearts.
I still believe He is setting the captives free.
I still believe He has a plan, a plan for even me. 

  "For to this end we both labor and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those who believe."
1 Tim. 4:10

It's true.  I'm guilty. 

The world is filled with people wanting to blame someone.  People wanting to justify their actions while condemning those around them.  People who get a rise out of offending someone who thinks differently than them.  People who want to be heard.  People who want attention.

It would be so easy to make this post about those people.  I could bring to light many issues and how those people should change. I could write about how many of those people have been proud or unkind.  But I am those people.   In this post, I will abstain from referencing anyone but myself because I need God to search my heart before I ever even begin to try to look at others' hearts.

I've been thinking and praying about this a lot lately.  I thought about what it would sound like if I replaced every "You/They" with "I" when I have a thought about how someone else should change their words or actions.  

• I SHOULD have compassion.
  
• I SHOULDN'T condemn others.
  
• I SHOULD think about what I'm saying before I say it.
  
• I SHOULD care more about others than myself.
  
• I THINK I know it all.
  
• Who do I THINK I am?
  
• Why can't I SEE through their eyes?
  

And perhaps the most gut-wrenching to me... I SAY I am a Christian.

Sounds a little different, right?  When I think about the sin of my own life, it's hard to fathom where this awful pride comes from. 

I've lied to many.
I've gossiped with friends.
I've smoked and drank, sometimes in large quantities.
I was sexually active, even before my first marriage.
I've been divorced.
I've thought I was smarter than other people.
I've cheated.
I've been disrespectful.
I've relied on my own strength (MANY times).
I've used profanity.
I've laughed at jokes and stories that either have sinful subject matter or belittle others.

The list can go on and on.  The Bible says, "For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all." (James 2:10)

This list of sin should be a daily reminder of the goodness of my Savior.  Of His unfailing love and the immeasurable grace He's given me.  It should remind me of the chains I wore.  The pit I was in.  It should remind me of the prayers for someone so undeserving.  It should remind me of all the sweet people brought into my life that helped show me the way back to Christ.  It should make me think back on the all the times I tried and tried...but failed. 

Many times I've gone back to a verse that my mom had us memorize at an early age:

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

It's Him.  It's not me.  I don't overcome sin by myself.  It's only by His grace and strength that I am able, and every time I choose to sin with my words or actions, I'm choosing to "...crucify again for themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame." (Hebrews 6:6)

I need Him to search my heart.  I MUST die daily.  Only then will I be able to see others the way God sees them.  Only then will I be able to show His love to a hurting and lost world.  Only then will He be truly glorified. 

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

"Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard." Isaiah 58:8

Blessings,

Abby






 

With my birthday being this week, and since this is a "big" one, I've really been doing some thoughtful reflection over my life. I tried to come up with 30 meaningful moments of my life that I wanted to share with you. How does one pick and choose? What if a moment that seemed somewhat unimportant at the time was actually a defining point that forever changed the course I was on? I don't have those answers, but these are a few the moments and memories I feel confident I'll hide in my heart for as long as God allows me to dwell on this earth.

1. I was 7 years old. Our family cat, Smokey, had her kittens and I got to pick my very own, which I named Crawley. I had her until I was 22. She was my best friend growing up.

2. Spending the summers going to my granny's house to play with my brothers and my cousin. My mom would drive us out there most days, and we'd each pray on the way, do memory verses, and sometimes listen to some Southern Gospel. I am still fond of the Kingsmen to this day. When we'd get to my grandparent's house, I'd want to immediately make sure my cousin was awake (she wasn't), and then proceed to talk her into playing endless hours of Barbies and Monopoly.

3. Cloud 9 Ranch. For those of you that don't know that this blissful place is, I don't have enough time to explain it. It was a place I looked forward to going to with my brothers and grandparents a few times each summer where we stayed in their travel trailer, swam most of every day, played hoops and mini golf, and went to the restaurant when we wanted a change from the hot dogs and hamburgers we cooked each day. When I close my eyes, I can still see it all clear as day. I can see the dirt roads and four-wheeler trails, and I can even remember the smell of the pool house on those hot summer days.

Yikes, this is shaping up to be an extremely long post...I better cut these down!

4. Horseback riding at the farm. Being able to get away from everyone and everything and just spending time in nature made me (and still does) feel so much closer to God.

5. Endless summers at the Feed Store practicing hoops and working like a dog (sometimes). I don't know how to do this one justice. I spent days and days with my dad, working and learning, practicing and talking, and truly believe I'm a better person because of it. And boy, those burgers from the Café were delicious!

6. That birthday when my mom ended up buying me 3 cakes just to make me feel special. They were some of the ugliest cakes I've ever seen, but they were tasty, and her kindness on that day has stuck with me.

7. Driving the battery-operated car, and later a four-wheeler, around my granddad's garage while he worked on cars with my uncle. I loved the smell of that place, and I loved climbing into his boat and acting like I was driving it too.

8. Gulf Shores. Being probably 6 years old. I can still remember leaving late of an evening, and my dad having a thermos of coffee as we headed out. Arriving in Alabama at sunrise and making friends at the pool and hot tub with a bunch of adults because I was never too shy to talk to someone. (a little scary nowadays!)

9. When my mom bought me my first razor and shaving cream. She sat there patiently with me and showed me how to shave my legs. It was one of those moments that made me feel closer to her.

10. Getting my braces on...and then off! Getting braces the same day as one of my closest friends in junior high, only to get them off 2 years later. They aren't lying when they say it gives you confidence. I am so thankful my parents sacrificed so that I could have that opportunity.

11. Dressing up as Batman and Robin with my younger brother. There are pictures to prove it. We played so much when we were younger, and these memories always make me smile.

12. Watching Saturday morning cartoons with my brothers. Mine was Bugs Bunny. Boy, I could still watch hours of that, and I'm not ashamed of that at all. The cartoons these days sure aren't what they used to be, and I'm thankful we were able to watch cartoons that didn't spiritually scar us. And seriously, just spending that time each week with my brothers. I didn't understand the significance of it at the time, but I sure do now.

13. Backyard hoops with other families. Also proof of this on VHS somewhere. My parents had a concrete pad poured in the backyard, and we would have a couple different families come play basketball, where sometimes it was recorded. Sweet times.

14. Feeding bottle calves, especially with my older brother. Of an evening, we'd often be doing this by the light of a flashlight. My dad would slip outside and hide in the shadows to scare us at the perfect moment. It never failed. My brother and I had many good conversations during these nights and would also point out constellations that we could find.

15. Christmas Traditions. From as far back as I can remember even until now, there are just things we always do. Movies we always watch, cookies we always make (thanks, Mom!), music we always listen to, Bible stories we always read, and gifts we always give. Precious, precious moments. Some of the best, really. Of my whole life. We've continued to add to tradition, especially now that we have our own family.

16. Basketball, in general. It's been a part of my life for forever, it seems. I love the sport. I love the friends I've made playing it. I love the memories made traveling for it. I appreciate the time and energy our family put into it. I learned so much from my coaches, both in the game and in life. It's still my favorite sport, and I often miss playing it.

17. Bank picnics. My mom has always worked at the bank in town. We went to the "bank picnics" several times when I was younger. They included hayrides, cookouts, and games. I came to love these picnics, and often think of them when it's time for a hayride.

18. Becoming Mom. Fitting this is number 18, considering that's how old I was when I became pregnant. 9 months of being pregnant with my most precious gift. I swear I sang to my tummy each and every day. I couldn't wait to hold and snuggle him. He was(and still is!) the sweetest baby in the world. Becoming a mother was definitely one of the most defining moments of my life.

19. Accepting Christ with my mom sitting on my bed. Remember this like it was yesterday. I finally came to the realization that I didn't want to go to hell. That I did, desperately, need a Savior, and that I couldn't live the rest of my life without knowing Him more. Best choice of my life.

20. Many, many, MANY weekend shopping trips with Mom and Landon. I can only imagine the money I'd still have in the bank account if we hadn't gone shopping what seems like every Saturday, but the memories we made far out-weigh the cash we spent. Some of my most favorite of days were spent with these two people.

21. My first weekend with my husband. He barely fed me. Seriously. We watched football. And then more football. And then I took a nap. And then more football. Maybe it sounds awful, but even then, I knew this guy had more potential than he was letting on.

22. First day of Kindergarten for Landon. I didn't shed too many tears. I tried to stay strong. He was so adorable in his little uniform and cheesy grin. He still wears that uniform, and he still has that cheesy grin.

Boy, I'm running out of numbers! How do I choose?!

23. Summer nights with my family. We fished, we swam, we camped, we played, we laughed, and we loved. How truly blessed I am.

24. Singing with Mom. This brought us closer together. So many afternoons and evenings practicing songs, changing arrangements, and crying over some of the tender lyrics. She has a way better voice than I do. I was just along for the ride. We did it for the Lord, but He blessed us through it.

25. Landon's Birthdays. Spending time with him on his birthday each year is one of the sweetest days we have. He picks most of the places we go and things we do and food we eat. But the conversation, the jokes, and the smiles are what make these fun-filled days so cherished.

26. Wedding Day. I know you were wondering if I was going to mention it. Of course I was! This was a special day for so many reasons, but the particular moment that sticks out to me is when my husband prayed with me during the song. Sure there were people just staring at us, but we bowed our heads together, and he prayed the sweetest prayer I've ever heard from him. God joined us together in that moment, and I'm forever grateful.

27. Adoption Day! When my husband adopted Landon, it was the moment that all the pieces came together. It was God blessing our family and making it whole. He was protecting Landon. He was blessing Derek in making him a Dad, and He was answering my prayers in the process. Words really can't do this one justice.

28. Weekend Getaways. For as long as I can remember, we would take random weekend getaways to different places.  Arkansas, St. Louis, Kansas, etc.  Since becoming a mom and wife, we've taken our own getaways which have given me so many sweet memories.

29.  When Landon accepted Christ.  We were on our way to KC before he started school.  It was life-changing for both of us.  He's never looked back, and I've been forever grateful to be able to pray with him and witness his salvation.

30.  Derek and Landon getting baptized together.  My father-in-law was able to baptize both Derek and Landon on his official day of retirement at the church he pastored for over 30 years.  What a day!!


There's no way that I can name all the wonderful memories I have from the past 30 years, but I can honestly look back and say I'm truly blessed.  I really, really am.  God has been with me all along and has shown me great favor in so many things I didn't deserve.  My family is so dear to me, and I've met so many fantastic people along the journey, some of which have spoke into my life in real ways. 

I'm reminded of a line in a movie I saw years ago where the character was giving a speech at his birthday celebration..

"I'm going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, "I don't want anything more." Sixty-five years. Don't they go by in a blink?"

It hasn't been 65 years, but it sure has gone by in a blink, and I'm thankful for every moment.

Abby 

"You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11

"Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue loosed, and he spoke, praising God.." - Luke 1:64

This scripture was brought to my attention a couple months back when visiting family for Christmas.  As a tradition, we always read Luke 2 before we enjoy celebrating with one another.  This year, my older brother spoke of this scripture first. 

At first, I wondered where he was going with this.  It seemed odd to talk about John's birth instead of Jesus' birth at Christmas.  He read the story and brought a different sort of message, but as he read the passage, this was the verse that stuck out to me.  I told him that evening that I'd be blogging about this verse, even though I didn't plan on it taking practically 2 months to settle down for long enough to write it.

Let's read it again.

"Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue loosed, and he spoke, praising God.." - Luke 1:64

I was immediately convicted.  Zacharias had gone a long time without being able to speak.  Can you imagine all the things you'd have to say if you were unable to speak for approximately 9 months? There would most likely be a list the size of Texas if you're anything like me.

Then I wondered again, "What would my first words be?"  I'd like to think they'd be as Zacharias, praising God.  However, I'm not completely sure that's true on a day-to-day basis.  Some days, I  know there's not a whole lot of positivity that comes out of my mouth.  We become discouraged by the events of the day or grow tired with what seems to be the mundane. Other days, I'm determined to focus on the blessings in life, of which there are many. 

I want my heart to be focused on praising God... all the time. No matter the circumstances. 

After all, the Maker of heaven and earth deserves it.

"O Lord, You are my God.
I will exalt You,
I will praise Your name,
For You have done wonderful things;
Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth." Isa. 25:1


"I will extol You, my God, O King;
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever." Psalm 145:1
 

Landon loves soccer. He loves playing. He loves watching it. He loves dreaming about it. At home, we often find him (well, hear him..) playing with a ball in the house. He talks us into playing with him in the backyard, and we love using this time to enjoy time with one another but also help him grow as a player.

This fall, we  finished our third season of soccer, and we came out as champs! He's getting ready to begin his indoor soccer for the winter, which should help him on improving his skills, but will also offer some exercise in his "off" season. We love watching him play and are thankful to be able to use this opportunity to help him grow as a person by teaching him how to be part of a team and how to be a leader. It's really been a blessing to see it all start to "click."

As I've been thinking back on this past season, I've tried to apply it to my life. We live by "attitude & effort." It's all we ask of Landon when he's at practice, a game, or doing anything with his sport. It's what we ask of him at home, at school, and when we're with family.  I'm sure this belief system stems from when my husband, Derek, coached basketball in the past, but ultimately, it lines up with scripture and our whole way of life.

So why is it so hard to do it myself?

I've begun to really take a hard look at my "attitude and effort," and let me tell you...it hasn't been a pretty sight.  I don't give a good enough effort taking care of the things that the Lord has blessed me with.  I notice my attitude turning negative when I should be finding joy in all circumstances.  I find myself wanting, when God is only One that can fill any void.  I can become irritable, when those around me should be given grace and patience. 

Whatever the case, there's definitely room for improvement.  Sure, it's easy to be down and discouraged when life isn't going our way, but that's exactly when we must make the choice to live joyfully, knowing that the  "sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18)  So let us choose joy and positive attitudes because you never know how much it might just help someone else.

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."
                                                                                                                 - Helen Keller

Blessings,
Abby

 

Okay, I'm starting this post for the second time. I was about halfway through when it crashed, and I lost all content. I'm just laughing because I know it's yet another thing I could be discouraged about, but I choose to rewrite this with joy!

So here goes nothing...

We all know it's a discouraging world out there. We look around and see things like:

-Terrorists murdering innocent people all over the world.

-Women, men, and teenagers showing off their bodies both in public and on the Internet.

-Sex is everywhere. From ads on our television, to the actual shows that glory in it, to books and games that showcase it in a positive light, you can't get away from it.

-Abortion killing so many sweet babies, and many seeming to be numb to it.

-A politically correct society that slaps labels on those who oppose the "mainstream." Christians also throwing harsh words and labels to those that they disagree with as well.

These are just a few of the discouraging things going on in the world, but there's much more. So how can we be encouraged in such a discouraging world?

Let's start by remembering that it's not about us.

“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me.” John‬ ‭15:18-21‬ ‭

This is about Him. People have hated Him all along, and if we are going to continue to follow Him, be prepared people. You're going to have many that come against you. We can't take things personally.

Continue in the Word.

God's Word is encouraging! Time after time, it gives us examples of those who have gone before us and have endured so much for the Lord, but never lost faith or joy in their journey. We can see that Jesus Himself was tempted as we are but His reaction was not to become self-pitying but rather pray and seek His strength from God! We also know how it all ends on this earth...we are on the winning side here!

Control what goes into your mind.

The mind is a HUGE battlefield, but we can help this. We must sanctify ourselves to Him, setting ourselves apart for His use. In order to do this, we need to be separate from the world. This doesn't mean we hide away in our houses and never go anywhere or do anything. This means that we put Him above all areas of our lives and ask, "Does this bring glory to God?" If it doesn't, we should seriously pray about how much time we put into that area.

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

Serve others.

One might say it's difficult to want to serve others when one is feeling beaten down and discouraged, and I would agree. It can be difficult, but when we shift our focus away from ourselves, and choose to give or help someone else who is hurting or in need, we find that our feelings of despair will fade and we then have the opportunity to refocus on the Lord and the joy we can keep during the trials.

"And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Mark 10:44-45

Have community with others.

Our church pushes this one big time, and I can see why. When you have others that will come alongside you, and I mean for the long haul, you find yourself being stronger in the battle. You know you have your team around you to help protect and fight right beside you. They are there to pray with you, vent to, give sound advice to you, and even just to let you know they've been there too! Likewise, we need to be those people for them as well! If you don't have this group, pray for this and reach out to someone to try to get plugged in! No one wants to be in battle alone!

Finally, remember the power of God.

Even writing that makes me catch my breath. The power of God is unmeasurable. He created all things. He has the ability to do anything He wishes. And how humbling it is that He is for us! He wants the very best for us, and He fights for us! This is ultimately a spiritual battle, and we so desperately need Him to help us win in these tough times. We can call out to Him, and He hears our pleas. Christians often forget the power that comes through prayer, but it should be the first thing we go to.

"O God, You are more awesome than Your holy places. The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Blessed be God!" Psalm 68:35

This is a discouraging world. It's easy to get caught up in the sadness, hatred, and evil that lurks around every corner. It's dark out there, people. But there's hope! We can't allow the darkness to overtake this very bright light we have! Hide His Word in your hearts so that you may remember it in your time of need!

I'd love to hear other ways you stay encouraged, so please comment and share with us!

Much Love,

Abby